Abraham, Martha, and little me

Abraham hastened into the tent and told Sarah,
“Quick, three measures of fine flour! Knead it and make rolls.”
He ran to the herd, picked out a tender, choice steer,
and gave it to a servant, who quickly prepared it.
Then Abraham got some curds and milk,
as well as the steer that had been prepared,
and set these before the three men;
and he waited on them under the tree while they ate.

— from today’s first reading, Genesis 18

If you had told me today, July 21, would be the day when I started a food blog, I know I would have stared at you with a long, blank stare. I never wanted to write a food blog.

But then again, six months ago, if you had told me that I would start baking and cooking each and everyday, I would have given you a similarly long, blank stare. I never wanted to spend all the time in my apartment kitchen.

But, God put it on my heart to start cooking, to start feasting with ihis holy saints

It began with cinnamon rolls on the Feast of Epiphany.

Not a bad start, God. It sounds a hundred times better than curds (no offense, Abraham).

Suddenly, it turned into oxtail stew for the Dumb Ox, Saint Thomas Aquinas.

Oh, and black and white truffles in the back, because Dominicans.

Before you knew it, there was a whole spread of things set out on the table for the Solemnity of Saint Joseph.

Not even all the things.

And last week, it was brownie scapulars for Our Lady of Mount Carmel.

And the thing is, I can’t stop. I can’t think abpout life without feasting with the saints.

I was really content to leave it at that, to cook the delicious things and share them in my quiet corner of the world. But then, a dear friend asked, “What’s wrong with wanting more? God wants you to use your freakin talents! If fear is what is hold you back, screw that. That’s not a reason worth reacting to.”

I didn’t want to think about fear. But she was right. I had a hundred little fears about sharing what I’m creating in and for the world.

“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. 
There is need of only one thing.”

From today’s gospel

I love that quote from Jesus so dearly. I love Martha so dearly. And every time I read this passage, I feel like Jesus invites me to replace Martha’s name with my own: “Meaghan, Meaghan, you are anxious.”

Anxious about looking like a fool.

Anxious about letting this blog slide away before it ever starts.

Anxious about readers. Would anyone read it?

Anxious about formatting. What am I even doing? How do I get rid of these mountaintops, for real?!

Anxious about pouring into this world of blogging and neglecting my family.

Anxious, anxious, anxious.

And yet, I surrender the anxieties. This blog is new on its levels. It will look clunky and awkward. I have no clue what to say. I known everyone won’t agree with what I say. I want to be God’s little servant, making good food, and sharing it like Abraham and Martha–serving, but needing only one thing.

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